


Thin Ice

by Tr1nks1e



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Depression, Draco Malfoy Needs a Hug, Enemies to Friends, Gen, Hogwarts Hospital Wing, Mentioned suicide, Whump, because talking is important, discussing deep things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-29
Updated: 2019-08-29
Packaged: 2020-09-29 19:03:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20440982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tr1nks1e/pseuds/Tr1nks1e
Summary: Winter – Post-War. Claustrophobic and grumpy, Harry goes for a walk outside the castle. Enter Draco Malfoy. It goes about as well as you'd expect.





	Thin Ice

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warning!! Please, if you're currently depressed or suicidal, or if things like this are your triggers, please don't read this fic. Keep safe.
> 
> I hope that, whoever you are, you have someone you can confide in. PM me if you want to talk. I will listen. I am not so good at giving advice, but everyone needs a willing ear at one stage.

Harry had enough of school. Frankly, he would rather not be at Hogwarts for his final year, but Hermione threatened that she would make sure he did not get his promised spot as an Auror if he did not finish his NEWTS. Ron, on the other hand, had his responsibilities with Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes, but barely escaped her wrath.

Fewer students had applied that year on account of the final battle and the public’s uncertainty of Hogwarts’ safety standards. Several hundred beds were vacant and conversations in the hallways were hushed and muted, as if people were scared of waking the dead.

Although it was well past ten, the common room was abuzz with activity. In the far corner, Dean and Ginny were snogging, some first-years were embroiled in a very heated game of exploding snap and Seamus was goofing off in front of some sixth years.

“O for Merlin’s sake!”, Harry exclaimed as a wet-start firework upset his ink bottle, ink streaming over his nearly-finished Transfiguration essay. The firework was currently zipping merrily around the room.

“What the hell, Finnigan?!”

“Sorry mate! ‘t was an accident.” He didn’t sound very sorry.

“Sure”, Harry muttered angrily and tried to remove the ink stains. Not even the handy cleaning charm Hermione had taught him could undo the damage. He would have to start from scratch.

Harry groaned. “That’s it. I’m going for a walk.”

“But Harry, this essay is due Friday,” Hermione retorted. “You know how professor McGonagall gets when you don’t turn your work in on time. You should know better – You’re a prefect, after all!”

“Only because Ron decided not to come back,” Harry pouted.

McGonagall insisted Harry take Ron’s place as prefect, saying that first years would give him a lot less grief than Voldemort ever could. At least she didn’t make him head boy. 

“Look, ‘mione. I’ll start again tomorrow – no use trying to do it now. My brain’s fried.”

Hermione huffed and returned to her essay. “Don’t come crying to me when you get a Troll for this assignment.”

As the portrait swung shut behind him, he unshrunk his invisibility cloak. He always kept it on his person, not knowing when he might need to use it. Harry had no destination in mind; he just knew he had to get out of the castle for a bit.

A crisp February wind greeted him at the front door, and although it felt like the wind was slicing through him, he did not feel like returning to the Gryffindor dorms to retrieve his jacket.

Harry trudged through the snow. He spotted someone on the frozen surface of the great lake. Upon closer inspection, Harry could make out the stooping form of Draco Malfoy.

What was he up to this time?

His invisibility cloak emboldened him to sneak closer.

Malfoy stood about twenty feet from the edge of the lake. Harry couldn’t se what Malfoy was doing with his back turned to him.

Suddenly a strong gust of wind flung his invisibility cloak from his body. It landed right behind Malfoy, who, startled by the sound, spun around.

*****  
_Why was it always Harry sodding Potter?_  
He was tired of the boy always worming his way into his life when he clearly wasn’t wanted. 

“Potter”, He snarled,” I see you are once again stalking me. Can’t let go of that hero-complex, can you? Afraid I might stage a revolt and take over the school? How – predictable.”  
“What are you doing out of bed, Malfoy? It’s past curfew.” Harry was determined not to be goaded by Malfoy.

Malfoy chuckled. _“A, yes. Perfect_ prefect Potter. Since you saved the Wizarding World, you must finally be worthy of the title. I suppose they throw accolades and positions of power at your feet – it’s a wonder Weaslette left you for another man- “

**BANG!**

So much for not being riled up by Malfoy. 

Malfoy was flung backwards onto the ice. Harry heard a sickening crack as Malfoy’s head hit the hard ice. But there was another crack as the he was swallowed whole by the lake.

“Shit!” Harry gasped. Sure, he hated Malfoy, but he wasn’t about to let the him die. He hurried to where Malfoy disappeared and dropped to his knees. There ways no sign of him anywhere. Not that one could see anything in the dark depths of the great lake at this hour.

Harry cast a bubblehead charm on himself and eased into the frigid lake. He gasped as his limbs seized up.

_Malfoy. Find Malfoy._

With all his might, Harry willed his frozen appendages to move.

“L-lumos!”

As the light spread through the water, Harry could make out Malfoy, drifting lifelessly in the icy water. He grabbed Malfoy by the torso and pulled him to the surface and clumsily dragged him from the lake. Harry’s limbs were numb, and his teeth were chattering.

Malfoy wasn’t breathing. His skin was as white as the ice on which he lay, and his lips were an alarming shade of blue.   
What do I do?

Harry suddenly remembered the spell Slughorn had used to clear Marcus Belby’s airway in sixth year.

“Anapneo!”

Malfoy drew in a shuddering breath as the water vanished from his lungs. He remained unconscious.

Harry could feel the energy seeping from him as the adrenaline left his body. He was numb, tired. So, so very tired. 

_Have to…stay awake. Must call someone._

Summoning up his last strength, he cast a patronus.

“Get…get Hermione…”

Then, and only then did he let darkness take over.

oOoOoOo

Harry slowly came to. He felt the warm embrace of a thick wool blanket around him, which made waking rather unattractive. He opened his eyes, blearily trying to gauge his surroundings. The world was fuzzy without his glasses. He reached for them on the nightstand and slipped them onto his face.

“Harry! You’re awake!”

Hermione was sitting next to his bed with a sad smile on her face. She looked like she had been crying and there were dark bags under her eyes.

“I… guess I am. How long have I been out?”

“Since yesterday, when I found you and Malfoy on the lake -- Harry, what are you doing?! Don’t get up, Madam Pomfrey still needs to clear you!”

“Malfoy! Where is he? Is he…did he…?”

Hermione’s pointed in the direction of a bundle on a bed in the corner. “He’s over there.” 

Harry heaved a sigh of relief and sank back into his pillow. “Thank Merlin.”

“Harry,” Hermione prompted hesitantly, “what happened last night?”

Harry sighed, dragging his hand over his face. “I let him get to me again. I should know by now how to ignore his idiotic quips.” He averted his eyes. “I shouldn’t have lost my temper. The spell was supposed to incapacitate him, but the next thing I knew…he was under the ice. I jumped after him and got him out. You should have seen him, ‘Mione. Pale, paler than usual. I can’t believe I did that. I…I could have killed him.” 

Hermione lay a comforting hand on his. “Don’t worry, Harry, it was an accident.”

“The papers will have a field day with this: ‘Saviour of the wizarding world drowns fellow student.’ “

Hermione shook her head. “Unless a certain bug Animagus is snooping around the school again, I doubt Professor McGonagall would let the story get out.”

“I guess.”

“Harry – did you know about Malfoy’s father?”

Harry frowned and shook his head. “No, what about him?”

“He died last night in Azkaban. They’re not sure how. The Aurors suspect foul play.”

“That’s …That’s not good. Do you think he knows?”

“I don’t know. I guess we will find out once he wakes up.”

oOoOoOo

Madam Pomfrey cleared Harry to leave the hospital wing soon after. Harry glanced at Malfoy’s bed. “How long until he wakes up?”

“It will probably take some time for mister Malfoy to wake,” Madam Pomfrey said. “He had a cracked skull when he got here.”

A twinge of guilt tugged at Harry’s stomach. 

_My fault. I did this._

Madam Pomfrey gave him a piteous glance. “You are welcome to visit him. But I will not allow you in here during class times.”

In the following days, Harry spent as much time by Malfoy’s side as he could spare. He did not remain in the Great Hall for breakfast, lunch or dinner but took his plate and ate silently next to Malfoy. He even did his homework there, precariously balancing his parchment on his lap as he worked.

Hermione hadn’t been thrilled, but she understood Harry’s need to be there.

oOoOoOo

It was on the sixth day that Malfoy stirred. His head pounded loudly. He looked around him and spotted the black-haired boy slumped on the chair next to his bed, asleep with his mouth agape, snoring softly. A quill was gripped loosely in his hand and ink was dripping on the floor.

“Great, it’s you again.”

Potter startled and nearly fell out of his chair. Ink flew everywhere and splattered on Draco’s cheek. “Shit, Malfoy! You’ll give me a heart attack!”

Draco wiped the ink from his face and rolled his eyes. “Always so _dramatic_, Potter.”

Ignoring the jibe, Harry asked, “How are you feeling?”

“That’s none of your business, Potter.”

Harry dragged a hand down his face and sighed. 

“I only asked because-” _I almost killed you_ “-it’s kind of my fault you are here.”

Draco snorted. “I never would have guessed.”

“Do you remember what happened?” Harry queried.

“Enlighten me.”

Harry sighed again and launched into the story.

“…and that’s how you ended up here.”

Draco groaned. “No wonder it feels as if ten hippogriffs are dancing on my head.”

“Would you like me to call Madam Pomfrey?”

“No. The last thing I need is that old bat fussing over me.”

“That _old bat_, as you call her, is probably the only reason you’re still alive,” Harry stated, “well, her, and Hermione.”

Draco’s eyebrows shot up. “Granger saved me?”

Harry nodded. “Of course she did.”

“Typical Gryffindor.”

Harry hesitantly asked, “Malfoy…do you know about your father?”

A pained look crossed Draco’s face. “Yes. At least the ministry had the courtesy to let mother know before they went public. I found out…that night. I…I still can’t believe it.”

Harry didn’t know what to say next, so they sat in silence for a few minutes.

“Curfew is starting soon. I have to go.”

He stood up and started gathering his things.

“Why did you save me?”

Harry frowned. The question sounded more like an accusation.

“Because I couldn’t just leave you to die. And because it was my fault you were in the situation in the first place.”

He half expected Malfoy to grumble something about Gryffindors and his hero complex, but what he did say surprised Harry.

“You should have just left me.”

Harry was shocked. “I’d never do that.”

Draco sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Potter, have you ever thought that, maybe, just maybe, I wanted to die? What did you think I was doing outside at night? On the great lake, alone?”

Harry shook his head incredulously. “You mean…you were going to…” He couldn’t finish the sentence.

“Kill myself? Yes.” He raised his head to the ceiling as tears burned in the corners of his eyes. “But then you came, and it was so easy to make you angry, to do it for me. I’m such a coward – can’t even off myself properly, had to get someone else to do the dirty work.”  
A tear rolled down his cheek. “But of course, you just had to come to my rescue.”

Harry looked helplessly at Draco. _He wanted to die?_

“W-why?” was all he could manage.

“Because I’ve been stuck in this dark hole with no sign of the sky anymore. Because waking up each day was a chore. Eating was a chore. Classes were a chore. Because I lost my father and I had no idea what to do, and even though I knew it would break my mother’s heart that I was gone, I just couldn’t see how I would survive another day knowing my life is _one fucked up mess_.”  
Tears were now streaming down his face. “Not that you’d understand. Your life must be all rainbows and unicorns.”

Harry shook his head and sighed. “My life hasn’t ever been rainbows and unicorns.” He stared intently at Draco. “Why didn’t you tell someone how you were feeling?”

Draco just snorted. “Potter, when is the last time you saw me with anyone? Nobody wants to be a friend to a reject who played host to the dark Lord and betrayed his house. I wasn’t about to tell mother either. It’s bad enough that she is stuck in that house where he stayed, alone, under house arrest. I couldn’t burden her with this.”

Harry sat back down in his chair. “You can tell me.”

They talked until morning about childhood, the war; sharing freely their despair and broken dreams, people lost, what came next.

And so, it came that Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy became friends. Pretty soon Draco and Hermione were arguing about the rights of magical creatures and he helped Harry to struggle through his potions essays – “Honestly, Potter, how you managed to reach NEWT levels is beyond my understanding” – and Christmas day, Harry was invited to Malfoy manor. It seemed so natural to be friends with Draco, Harry thought. 

And there was no talk between them anymore of dying – Merlin knows they had enough of that. But the invitation was always there. _You can tell me_. That’s all they needed.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading guys!  
It's only my third fanfic ever, so I'd appreciate some constructive criticism. Did I make any grammar or spelling mistakes? Tell me please!  
If you have any feelings to share, do so.  
Depression is a monstrosity and we need to battle it together.


End file.
